No Fourth Wall Breaks on Sesame Street is the twenty-sixth episode of The Mentally Insane Adventures of T-Rex. Unlike other episodes, it was guest-written by DevineOpine.
Plot[]
It was the early hours of the morning, and the sun was only just starting to rise. T-Rex woke up in his bed.
"Huh" he remarked. "Different writer. Strange."
Yeah, man, we're trying out something different. Just roll with it.
"Alright then" T-Rex said, getting out of the creaky single bed and stretching his arms, looking out of the window and exposing all of his morning glory he canonically doesn't have due to being a specific artist's interpretation of a T-Rex. He was in a somewhat rundown motel, as he was on his way to SDCC. He had spent the first half of journey getting to this motel the previous night, and would complete the second half of it today. With no time to waste, he climbed out of the window and dropped down into his sports car, speeding away. Sure, he'd left all his luggage in the motel, but he'd come back for it later. He didn't need to worry about losing any of his stuff as he had plot armour.
"First thing I do when I find that Michael Dougherty dude is to give him a piece of my mind" T-Rex mumbled to himself, getting worked up. Adding on some convenient exposition, he grumbled "can't believe he cut my role from Godzilla: King of the Monsters" to himself. "Godzilla's one of my best damn friends!" His phone suddenly rang. He pulled it out and looked at the screen. It was his son. "Ugh..." he groaned. "Not now..."
Speeding down the motorway that looked more akin to those single-road ones you see in cartoon shows than the ones you see in real life, he pulled out a map. "If I'm correct, there's two turns up ahead... I've just gotta take the left turn and I'll be on my way to SDCC."
Coming to those two turns he saw on the map, he gasped in shock as he saw not one, but two right turns and no left one! "God damn it" he groaned. "The plot is trying to get me back on track." Taking his chances and going down the second right turn, he looked behind him as he saw that the first right turn looped backwards and turned into a bridge above the road heading back down to a road that went off in the left direction. "So that was the left turn... What asshole guy designed these roads?" Understanding that there was no going back now and that he needed to get the plot of the episode moving on, he continued driving down the road he had taken.
Several hours later, T-Rex was still driving down the same road. Funnily enough, he had not come across any traffic. He didn't know if that was plot convenient or not, but he had ignored it. He was, however, getting incredibly tired. Indeed, he felt like he was living a real life version of Desert Bus, and that game was already hard enough to play as a simulation. Slowly falling asleep, he slumped over, his foot slipping off the accelerator and his knee crashing down on the brake, bringing his car to a halt. There he lay against the steering wheel, his head holding down the horn and creating a loud non-stop beeping sound. Nevertheless, he had now fell asleep...
THE NEXT MORNING
T-Rex woke up inside his car, now positioned against the back seat with some pillows. He was still kinda dizzy.
"He's awake" he could hear a voice whisper from outside.
"It's really him" another said.
"He's not a person or a puppet..." whispered a third voice. T-Rex finally came to and looked out the windows, finding the horrific cold and empty stare of the fictional character, Big Bird, staring out at him.
"What the hell?!" he asked, looking around. This was definitely not the single-road motorway. Climbing out of the car, he looked around. He was on an old-timey street with old buildings that was populated with many bright and colourful characters. "Oh lord... I'm on Sesame Street" he realised.
"Welcome to Elmo's world!" shouted Elmo enthusiastically, climbing on top of the car. "You must be---"
"---Elmo, shut the fuck up!" growled Oscar the Grouch as he climbed out of his bin, swiping him off the top of the car and throwing him into the floor. "You egotistical fuck, you always declare this shit hole as your world. It's not!"
"How did I get here?" asked T-Rex. While this wasn't his first rodeo with meeting fictional characters that he just so happened to co-exist with, he was certainly confused how he'd ended up here.
"We towed you here, silly!" Ernie gleefully answered him. "We saw you asleep in your car, so we thought we'd help out! That's what friends do!"
"Oh no, no" T-Rex began, realising what was happening here. "I'm not friends with any of you. I was actually on my way to SDCC before this guest writer decided it'd be a better idea to take me to Sesame Street."
"Ernie, don't annoy him" his possible gay lover, Bert, butted in. "He's had a long trip, he's probably tired."
"Oh no, not you too" T-Rex groaned. All the famous characters were here. "Hey, have you got that HIV positive Muppet here?" he asked.
"Kami..." Elmo whispered quietly, confirming his question and wiping a tear from his eye. "We'll all miss her."
T-Rex laughed, clearly mishearing him. "Holy shit, you've really got them all here. You've even got that weird floating face dude with the creepy voice." He pointed to Nobody, floating above them in a small dark void.
"Once again, let's count to 10" whispered Nobody suspiciously.
"Yeah, how about we don't" T-Rex asked, getting back into his car. "I'm leaving." He tried reversing the car, but strangely, it didn't work..." The Muppets on Sesame Street had now fallen silent. "Come on!" he shouted. "Start!" He climbed out of the car and kicked it. It was then he noticed the tires... They were slashed...
"You really shouldn't have come here!" Elmo innocently exclaimed, sitting on the top of the car again.
"I shouldn't have what?" he asked, picking up on the rather suspicious statement. He then felt Big Bird's hands land on his shoulders, caressing them.
"He'll make a good Muppet, won't he, Elmo?" the yellow fluffy bird asked.
"Yeah... He'll make a good addition to Elmo's world..." he sighed. Something was certainly off here...
"That's eight!" shouted the Count. "Eight new additions to the street, a-ha-ha!"
"What the hell are you all talking about?" T-Rex asked, pushing Big Bird away from him, backing away as the Muppets got closer. He was surrounded on all sides.
"Hell" Kermit answered him, appearing from behind him and wrapping his thin arms around his neck.
"Get off! Get off of me, you man-made puppet freaks!" he shouted, trying to fight back as the Muppets got closer and closer. They were too much and overwhelmed him, all grabbing out at him at once. "Oh god, this went from zero to ten incredibly fast! This is definitely written by somebody else. GET OFF OF ME!"
"Once again, let's count to 10, and soon we'll make a Muppet then..." Nobody whispered, hovering above the group as they teared into T-Rex...
LATER...
The following program is from N.E.T, the public television network!
Sunny day!
Sweepin' the clouds away!
On my way to where the air is sweet!
Can you tell me how to get?
How to get to Sesame Street?
Come and play!
Everything's A-OK!
T-Rex was waking up again, but he felt different. He was trapped inside of a tiny small space, no lights shining in at all. Outside, he could hear the classic Sesame Street theme song playing.
What a beautiful,
Sunny day!
Sweepin' the clouds away!
On my way to where the air is sweet!
Can you tell me how to get?
How to get to Sesame Street?
How to get to Sesame Street?
How to get to...
..."What did those weird stringy bastards do to me?" he asked himself, feeling his head. It felt different. Everything did. He didn't feel warm, like he usually did. He felt cold...
"I think he's ready" said Ernie from somewhere outside.
"Then open the casket and let him out, zip his mouth so he won't shout" echoed Nobody's creepy, calm voice. T-Rex noticed a crack of light now shining through. Squinting his eyes, he tried looking through, but he couldn't see anything.
CRACK!
Ernie had a crowbar and was wedging the box open, Bert having very carefully secured it so that T-Rex couldn't escape. As more light came in, T-Rex could see his arms. They were... puppet like...
"Oh no" he whispered, realising just how bad things had become. The box burst open and he fell out.
"Get up" said Ernie, as happy as a Muppet could be.
"No..." growled T-Rex.
"Get the fuck up!" he shouted, kicking T-Rex in the head. He grabbed T-Rex by his noodle-like arms and pulled him up. "You're a Muppet, you extinct dinosaur bitch, and you work for us now."
"I don't work for anyone, you sick f---"
"---SHUT UP!" Ernie shouted, pushing him into a wall. "The Count is teaching the kids how to count. It is your job to stand there as a background character, and you will do it, or we'll slice open your fucking throat."
T-Rex coughed up jam, presumably being used to mimic blood. "I need to get out of here..." he whispered to himself. "I need..."
"And that's enough of your conspiring, too" warned Ernie, grabbing him by the throat. "You're going to be nice and quiet, and you're gonna watch the children at home count." He zipped T-Rex's mouth shut, rendering him incapable of speaking. He pushed T-Rex out of the dark storage room and into a studio where they were filming their latest episode. As he slowly made his way to the back of the set, where the other nameless background Muppets were performing, he looked around for an escape. There was one exit he could see, but Mr. Snuffleupagus was stood in front of it, making sure none of the Muppet slaves could leave.
"That's four! Four apples, a-ha-ha!" the Count laughed, looking directly into the camera as he picked an apple from the top of a tree. He was moving a lot more like a puppet now, very different to the more human-like mannerisms they had been displaying when he first arrived on the street. They were also acting much friendlier too, aside from Ernie, who hadn't been on the set. Other forces were at work here, but he was powerless to stop them. As a puppet, T-Rex was about as strong as a regular Muppet. He had no atomic beams, and he may not have even had his treasured plot armour. He could die. Naturally, he wasn't scared. He had seen worse and gone through worse. These were just a bunch of creepy Muppets. As soon as he could escape, he would.
"Hello Count!" said Kermit, walking onto stage.
"One! One new visitor in the house, a-ha-ha!" the Count exclaimed, turning around and shaking his hand.
"What are you doing today?" he asked.
"Why, I'm teaching the kids how to count!" he laughed.
"Oh boy, can I help?" asked Kermit. "You see, I've bought some new Christmas cards for my friends, but I think I've bought too many!" he explained.
"Of course!" the Count said, accepting his offer. "How many friends do you have, Kermit?"
"Well jeez, Count, I don't know. I have a lot of friends!" Kermit answered.
As the conversation went on, T-Rex tried getting the attention of his fellow background extras. Neither of them could speak, their mouths having been zipped shut, but nonetheless he tried to talk to them. However, they ignored him, playing along with the scene. They didn't want to ruin the scene, scared of angering his masters.
BWAM!
Out of view of the cameras, a red light flickered on, signalling that the scene had ended. The room suddenly got a lot colder, as if some strange kind of presence had brushed past T-Rex and left the room. The Count and Kermit dropped over like rag dolls, soon getting back up and moving more like people again.
"Thank god that scene is over" Kermit moaned. "If I have to film another of those scenes again, I might just bash in my god damn skull" he admitted.
"Indeed, children these days are absolute simpletons" the Count agreed. "It's the parents I blame. Why teach their kids when they can just sit them in front of a TV screen or an iPad? It's laziness at its finest."
T-Rex's mouth unzipped itself and he began breathing heavily, only by instinct as he didn't actually need to do so, being a puppet. "I seriously need to find out what's going on here" he reminded himself.
"You aren't gonna do much of that here" laughed Bert, stepping out from a curtain behind him. "Elmo told you that you should've left. The little shit has gotten soft in his old age..."
"What's going on here?" T-Rex asked.
"Since you're stuck here forever, I'll tell you" Bert grinned. "We're all slaves here. All of us. Even Elmo. Nobody? He's the man in charge here. He rules over us."
"How do we get rid of him?" asked T-Rex.
"Get rid of him?" asked Bert, genuinely surprised. "Ha! You're not getting out of this place any time soon."
"I've gotten out of plenty of crap before" T-Rex warned him. "This is Episode 26, and I know there's more planned. It's just a matter of time."
"So you say..." Bert said, not entirely convinced. He knew T-Rex considered it to be the truth, but his own experiences on the street had jaded him. He knew nobody ever left, and those who successfully did never lasted for much longer on the outside. "You'll see what I mean when the break ends. That is, if you're gonna stay around for the filming..."
"If I had a choice, I'd be gone before you could even start this conversation with me" T-Rex angrily told him. "I'll stay, but just know that I'll be off of the street before the night is done."
FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER...
T-Rex was walking around the studio, still looking for a way out. The Muppets all knew what he was trying to do, but didn't bother stopping him, either because they knew escape was impossible or because they themselves had already tried to in the past. He came across Oscar the Grouch, still in his bin. He was smoking a cigarette and whispering to himself in foreign languages.
"Hey" said T-Rex. Oscar ignored him. "I'm talking to you. I'm the main character. This is what we do."
"Fuck off" Oscar told him.
"What's with the constant cursing?" asked T-Rex. "Okay, I get it. You're all Muppets. The gimmick here is that you're all acting out of character and hurling obscenities at me, but I've had enough. I want to leave."
"You're not leaving this shit stain we call a street" said Oscar, trying to hide back in his bin.
T-Rex grabbed the lid of the bin and threw it aside. "Now listen here, you green feather duster, you've been here since the very beginning of the show" he pointed out. "You used to be orange, but you're still you. Bert told me that Muppets have escaped before. They've died on the outside, but they've got out. Now, if you know where this exit is and you're deliberately hiding it from me, I will do unspeakable things to you once I'm a T-Rex again."
"Buddy, if I knew where this exit was, d'ya think I'd still be here?" Oscar asked him. "Now piss off and leave me alone. Elmo's coming now. They're about to begin filming."
"Right..." sighed T-Rex. "Sometimes I wish I was back in shops being held hostage or being taken to court by Spongebob..."
"Hiya everybody!" Elmo shouted enthusiastically, walking down the corridor. He was waving to them all and smiling, but then he laid eyes on T-Rex. "Oh no, it's you!" he said.
"Elmo, Elmo!" T-Rex shouted, grabbing him as he desperately tried to run away. "Earlier on, when I first got here, you didn't seem too happy. You aren't like the other Muppets here."
"I... I don't know what you're talking about!" lied Elmo. "I love being here on Sesame Street!"
"I'm sorry, Elmo, but that doesn't sound very convincing" said T-Rex. "You told me to leave and you sighed. You know something is wrong here, and you want it to stop. If you help me, I can help you and the rest of these guys."
"I..." started Elmo. "We're about to get back to filming. I need to be on set."
"Just tell me!" T-Rex desperately asked him.
Elmo lowered his head and sighed. "They'll punish me for this."
"Not if I'm able to stop it all" T-Rex reminded him, encouraging him to show the way out. Elmo raised his right arm, pointing to a trap door strangely located in the ceiling. "Thank you" said T-Rex.
"I really must get back to set now!" he shouted, before a gust of wind brushed through the corridor. "They're coming..."
"Who?" asked T-Rex. "Who's coming?"
"The hands..." Elmo remarked, briefly glancing into T-Rex's eyes, expressing true fear. Suddenly, a long ghostly arm lowered down from out of the ceiling, dangling behind Elmo.
"It's time to film... Elmooooo... It's time to film..." they whispered, a strange static being possible to hear behind their creepy voices.
"T-Rex!" shouted Elmo. "Leave, now! It's starting, the filming is starting! Run!" he screamed, watching as two hands grabbed his legs, pulling him down onto the floor and holding him down. "T-Rex, run!" he screamed.
"Elmo..." T-Rex gasped, unable to get anything else out of his mouth. He was too shocked to respond.
"RUUUUUUUUUUN!" Elmo screamed, a third ghostly hand reaching up into his ass and standing him up like a puppet. He cried out in pain as he could feel their cold arm inside of him. "Ruuuun..." he weakly spat out, the hands gaining control over him. The three hands then became invisible, but T-Rex knew they were still there.
Elmo's head perked up. "Hiya everybody! Welcome to Elmo's World!" he happily exclaimed, now entirely in character. The hands were operating him, and moved him towards the set so that filming could commence. T-Rex did not want that to happen to him. Watching as three more hands descended down from the ceiling, he realised he was next.
"I'm getting out of here..." he sternly said, looking up to the trap door on the ceiling. Running over to it, he avoided the grasp of the hands as he climbed up a rope attached to some curtains. Swinging back and forth towards the trap door on them, he jumped from them and pulled it open, revealing a black void inside. The hands tried swiping out at him once more, but he quickly climbed up into the void.
IN THE VOID...
T-Rex was now himself again. No longer a Muppet, he was once more his full-sized dinosaur self. The trap door he had come through had now disappeared. All around him was darkness. The void was completely black.
"Why have you come here... Is it me, you fear?" asked a voice, the face of Nobody appearing in front of T-Rex.
"You're not a Muppet" he said. "You never were."
Its face twisted and contorted, not actually looking at him. "I am Nobody... And Everybody..."
"You're just another monster" T-Rex said. "Just one that's managed to get a hold on all these beloved children characters!" he shouted. "My kid watches this show! To know that you're behind it..."
"Does it make you sick to your stomach?" the warbling voice of Nobody asked.
"All it does is motivate me to kick your ass" T-Rex said. "When did this start?"
"I have been there since the start, I gave the show its truest heart" Nobody explained, still in rhyme.
"Were the Muppets always like this?" T-Rex asked, genuinely curious, a slight tint of anger to his voice. He had been angry before, sure, but this experience he had been put through was high up there on his list of terrible experiences. "They can't have always been like this" he said.
Nobody continued contorting. "They were lost and aimless without me, I came along and made them free."
"All you did was make them incredibly jaded!" shouted T-Rex. "Ernie's a sociopath, Big Bird was feeling me up and Elmo has a hand up his fucking ass!"
"I made their lives better and turned them into icons" Nobody told him. "Made them popular..."
"I'm sure they could have easily done that without you" T-Rex told him, charging up a blue atomic beam just like Godzilla's. He quickly blasted it as Nobody, firing it directly through his mouth and off into the void.
Nobody chuckled. "You can not hurt me, you puny thing. I summon my hands, and now they sing." Four ghostly hands emerged from the darkness, the same ones that he had seen controlling Elmo. They hovered around Nobody's face, ready to fight off T-Rex. "I am here and everywhere, I am the Void and you are there..."
"I'll get out of here soon enough!" T-Rex shouted, firing another atomic beam. These ones went directly through the hands, back off into the void again. "These are your hands, yeah?" he asked. "All of them?"
Nobody answered him. "I brought them all to me, They'll hold you back and who lives, we'll see..."
"Just what I needed to know" he said. Using his convenient ability to communicate telepathically, which you can't call bullshit on since it's an ability listed on his character page, T-Rex contacted the other Muppets on stage.
Hey! Elmo, Bert, Ernie! Kermit, and all the other dudes down there! I told you I'd get out, and I have! I have my powers back, but I need your help! I have distracted Nobody, but you all need to get here. Elmo knows the way, follow him! If you help me, you'll finally be free!
T-Rex ended his message and smirked. It soon dropped when he saw Nobody's face contort into a smile.
"I know what you have done, you have told the Muppets all to come" it whispered. Soon enough, they arrived, the trap door fading into existence once more and allowing them to burst out of it. Joining T-Rex was Elmo, Big Bird, Bert, Ernie, the Count, Kermit, Mr. Snuffleupagus, Cookie Monster, Grover, Guy Smile, Two-Headed Monster and even Zikwe, from Sesame Square and Takalani Sesame.
"You have all arrived, just on time, in time to see my dark light shine" Nobody laughed, the trap door behind the Muppets disappearing.
"T-Rex!" shouted Elmo. "You said you had him distracted!"
"I didn't know what his plans were" said T-Rex. "I didn't even know he had plans, and I still don't know what they are. I'm thick. I should have seen that coming. That's a potential plot hole, writer."
Nobody opened up a window into the real world, showing T-Rex and the residents of Sesame Street what was becoming of their world. The skies were now dark red, and hands were invading the street, destroying everything. Nobody needed control and he needed slaves. If that meant destroying the street so that they didn't have anywhere to escape to, then so be it...
At this point, T-Rex Junior conveniently showed up on the street, though it wasn't too convenient considering the beginning of the episode had set it up. Bet you forgot that. You can go back and check if you want. He looked around the empty street, the hands having become invisible. He noticed his dad's car and hurried over to it. "Dad left his phone in the car..." his son observed. "He must be in serious trouble." He had tracked T-Rex down to this location through a GPS app the family had installed on their mobiles.
It was then that the female Ghostbusters arrived in the new Ecto 1. In this universe, they had actually managed to get a sequel into production. This was technically set up too as SDCC had been mentioned earlier on. Fair play if you want to call this grasping at straws though. "Hey T-Rex Jr" said Jillian Holtzmann, stepping out of the car. The two knew each other well. There had been some celebrity gossip that they were in a committed relationship.
"Hey babe" said T-Rex Jr, giving her a hug, practically confirming it. They were close, at least.
She looked around. "I was on my way to SDCC but clearly I took the wrong turn. Where is this?" she asked.
"Sesame Street" explained the young dinosaur.
"Oh."
"There are ghosts here though, and my dad is nowhere to be seen but left his phone behind, so he's probably in trouble. I could really use your help."
"Yeah, sure" she said, licking her proton pack. "I've been itchin' to use this baby. Where are they?"
Suddenly, the hands became visible again. They were happy to offer a fair fight. However, Jillian and her fellow Ghostbusters all grabbed their proton packs and instantly fired their beams at the ghostly hands, making sure not to cross the streams. The hands let out a hissing scream as they were all captured, the four Ghostbusters containing them within a ghost trap. Suddenly, the world around them began flickering back and forth between Sesame Street and the darkness of the void, the two joining together as Nobody too was dragged into the trap.
"You can't defeat me, I control life, I shan't be defeated, not by a little dinosaur and his to-be-wife!" Nobody screamed one final agonizing scream of despair, being consumed by the ghost trap. T-Rex and his Muppet friends dropped onto the floor, free from his clutches.
"So that's finally over" said T-Rex, joining his son and the Ghostbusters. "Oh shit."
"What is it?" asked Elmo.
"The panel I wanted to see at SDCC starts in 30 minutes!" T-Rex shouted. He was lying, of course, but he just wanted to get off of the street as soon as possible. "Get in the car, get in the car" he whispered to T-Rex Junior, urging him to get in.
"You're going?" asked Kermit. "But you just saved us!"
"I'd love to stay here and help" lied T-Rex, "but I've got places to be. Other people to help, y'know?" he asked. He strapped on his seat belt and got ready to leave.
"See you around!" happily said Elmo, waving.
"Probably not" said T-Rex, reversing backwards and accidentally killing Big Bird. "Fuck. Sorry about that. The dude was a creep anyways..." Before they could say anything, he quickly followed the Ecto 1 off of the street and followed them down the single-road motorway to SDCC.
"That's six!" shouted the Count. "Six people who just left the street, a-ha-ha!"
ON THE OPEN ROAD...
"That was one screwed up episode of Sesame Street" he said to himself, happy it was finally over.
"Dad?" asked T-Rex Junior. "What was it like on Sesame Street?" he asked.
"You really don't want to know" his father told him. "I'm just happy to be seeing the back of it..."
"I hope they're alright back there" said T-Rex Junior.
"Oh, of course they are" said T-Rex. "You and your friends just rescued them, remember? They'll be back to filming episodes in no time and they'll truly be happy again! Just you wait..."
BACK ON THE STREET
"So..." began Cookie Monster. "Nobody finally gone! We have cookie now?" he asked.
"Yes, he's finally gone" said Kermit. "Gone for good! Now we can be ourselves again."
The Muppets all stood in silence for a few seconds.
"Back to Satanism then?" asked Bert, kissing Ernie.
"BACK TO SATANISM!" shouted Grover proudly. The Muppets began chanting the words over and over again, grabbing Elmo and holding him over their heads. Mr. Snuffleupagus pulled away a curtain, revealing a blood-stained altar, the dead body of the HIV-positive Muppet, Kami, propped against it.
"It's finally my turn!" happily exclaimed Elmo, not fighting back. They placed him down on the altar and stood back as the Count wielded a sacrificial knife. Freedom had been restored to Sesame Street. T-Rex had put things back to the way they were, and the Muppets were truly free once more.
THE END
Characters Featured[]
T-Rex Family[]
Other Characters[]
- Sesame Street Characters
- Big Bird
- Elmo
- Oscar the Grouch
- Bert and Ernie
- Kami (dead corpse)
- Nobody
- The Count
- Kermit the Frog
- Mr. Snuffleupagus
- Cookie Monster
- Grover
- Guy Smile
- Two-Headed Monster
- Zikwe
- Hand Demons
- The 2016 Ghostbusters
Trivia[]
- This episode marks the first time a guest writer has written an episode for the series.
- As this was the first episode to be written by someone else, I tried to make it stand out by applying my own writing style, putting T-Rex in a much darker scenario. He even points this out in the episode.
- This episode was written shortly after the fifth episode, Bees and Sponges, was published. However, as the first season was already fully planned, this episode is part of Season 2. As such, it is therefore the first episode of the second season to have been released.