What's an Ohpinian? is the 13th and final episode of Jefferey's Jefftastic Space Adventures Season One. It details the battle that created and destroyed Universe 666.
Plot[]
Oh Pi was asleep on a blanket in a home located in England. The home was in a nice, more remote and mountainous area, with a beautiful view of the nearby rivers and forests. Most of the town was on the base of the mountain, where as this house was a little higher up, located on a hill next to it. The owner of the house was David, and avid young mind focused on trying to stop the kaiju issues Earth is undergoing. Of course, everyone's minds had been wiped of Jefferey's existence for the second time, meaning the dragon, as far as they knew, didn't exist. But Oh Pi on the other hand, he was different.
Oh Pi stepped ever closer to the top of a long flight of stairs, next to him a t-rex and a purple dragon. Both of them looked ready for battle. He looked behind. Every ten steps they took the staircase vanished farther, below it a deep abyss. Oh Pi looked back at his "friends", paying attention to their faces. The t-tex looked like he was dying of anticipation for fun, implying to him that what comes next would be entertaining. The dragon however, he looked distressed, almost, angry. His face read that the next to come would be bad, a fearful display of power. Like in most dreams, Oh Pi began to experience emotions. This time, the emotion of fear. Dread and regret where there, but not as prominent as fear. This was almost a first for the creature, until now he had lived a peaceful life, protecting his small village and aiding the planet he enjoyed. He wouldn't kill creatures, but beat them up until they ran away. Never would he think of killing. It was against his morals. The three reached the top of the staircase, a large marble palace, aged and destroyed lay in front of them. Atop was a squid like monster, with a tentacle curled around a red and white orb. It placed the orb in it's eye, and then it flashed. Oh Pi suddenly felt true horror as a primal power never before seen was unleashed before him. He woke up with a jolt. "Had a nightmare Oh Pi?" David said, squatting down to look at him. All he could do was nod in agreement.
Jefferey awoke in a pile of destroyed planet, having experienced the same dream. He shook his whole body, shivers ran down painfully as if he had been electrically shocked. Jefferey flew slowly upwards, tired and groggy, his mind began drifting off to other things. He began thinking of his previous fight with Funkolordus Maximus, reflecting on how good it felt to kill the annoying bastard. "I...." Jefferey yawned. "...just want to kill something..." Jefferey looked around, rubbing his eyes as he sneezed. "What a boring galaxy..." he said. "nothing... to fight..." His tail shot out from his back, nearly quadrupling in length. At the end of his drill, a small tiny spark of energy lit up. "This..." Jefferey yawned. "will do..." The galaxy exploded in a glorious flash of light, hunks of it flying everywhere. Jefferey yawned. "Hope I'm not the only one who can do this."
Oh Pi was shrank down in Davids bicycle basket as he rode down the hill and into town. David was going down to the bread shop. "I'm telling you David, I've known you my whole life and yet I would have never thought you would find that cute little thing. He's pretty useful, place used to be a kaiju playground, but after Oh Pi showed up they stopped coming. " The baker said, cooking Davids bread. "Me neither," he said, chuckling a little. "In fact most folks wouldn't expect to find an alien egg in the mountains. Nor would they expect it to be really powerful. Although I do vaguely remember some other similar creature. Heard that's just a case of mass hysteria though." David said, getting side tracked. The oven beeped. "Your breads done." the baker said, pulling it out and wrapping it up. "Be careful now, it's very hot." He said, handing it to David carefully. Not to long after the two where riding back up the hill eating bread, enjoying themselves. Just before getting to the door, Oh Pi sensed something and looked up at the sky. "Something wrong buddy?" David said to Oh Pi. The creature, without even saying goodbye, left David, flying up into the atmosphere. A small green feather fell down, landing on his head. "Oh Pi... why...why did you leave me..." David said, picking up the feather and holding it delicately in his hands.
Jefferey was causing mass genocide on a planet, killing everything in sight and destroying all signs of civilization. He walked up to a family, a mother and her baby daughter, huddled up in a corner, cowering in fear. The mother was whispering prayers and telling her daughter they where going to a great place. Jefferey pointed his finger at them and grinned. Just as he shot a beam at them, something deflected it and screamed. The smoke cleared and revealed a small fluffy green creature. "I don't know who you are..." Jefferey tilted his head, his hand returning to his side. "or what your doing..." Jefferey raised his hand again and put it over his face, sighing as he raised his other hand to charge up another blast. "But I will beat the shit out of you and protect Earth!" Oh Pi screamed, completely serious. Jefferey began laughing. "Earth? Ha! What's your name? Green Friend??? Hahahahaha!!!" Oh Pi jumped up and kicked Jefferey in the chest repeatedly, sending him flying. "Actually, the names Oh Pi." Jefferey got up. "Nice one, but this isn't full power." Oh Pi smirked. "Bring it on you stupid lizard." Jefferey launched himself forward. "Now you've done it." he said, punching Oh Pi in the face at full power, causing his body to contort in ways that didn't seem very comfortable. The family began running away, but the blast from Jefferey's punch sent them and Oh Pi flying.Oh Pi shot lasers from his antenna at Jefferey, burning his skin. Jefferey shot a Cross Beam at him, but Oh Pi dodged it by flying up into the air. Jefferey did the same and the two began rapidly kicking each other. Jefferey suddenly trapped Oh PI in his wings, about to slice him in half, but he teleported behind him and kicked him. Jefferey then too teleported behind Oh Pi and slashed at him with is tail, hitting him like a whip. Oh Pi opened up his beak, his second mouth coming out as it charged a large laser. Jefferey teleported behind him, about to punch him in the back, but Oh Pi contorted his face behind him and Jefferey hit the ball of energy, causing it to explode. "So how did you like the fireworks?" Oh Pi said, smiling at Jefferey. Without answering the question, Jefferey stabbed his drill into the planet and extended it through the core, causing it to explode. Jefferey absorbed his fifty kilometer tail back into his body and began to turn his back before some thing caught his eye. Oh Pi was still alive! "You monster..." he mumbled, obviously going to scream at him and transform. "You killed all those innocent people!! You'll pay for this!!!" He screamed, just like I told you he would. Jefferey let out a sigh. "If you mean those two people then yeah, but most of their population was wiped out by the bombs they dropped on their city. Not a very... oh dear god what are you doing." Jefferey said, watching Oh Pi scream and enlargen. (For reference he is only around the size of Jefferey's head when the two are in base form) Tiny stubs began to sprout out of his tiny body, but that wasn't all. His body grew longer and he gained a torso. His torso suddenly popped out into a 12 pack and his stubs grew into equally as muscular arms. His little feet then grew in size as they where shot off the body by muscular legs. Oh Pi striked several poses often done by body builders before sighing and saying "I watch too much wrestling with David...".He got in a battle stance as Jefferey closed his eyes. Jefferey too became extremely muscular and the two began their battle. The two both punched each other in the chest and then a punch to the face in unison, almost as if it was real wrestling. Then Jefferey began rapidly kneeing Oh Pi but the Ohpinian blocked them and then grabbed Jefferey's tail, spinning him around in circles before launching him off into the distance. Oh Pi was flying as fast as he could to continue his fight, but Jefferey rammed him head on, his green cross grazing Oh Pi's neck and making it bleed. In retaliation, Oh Pi summoned a knife out of his forehead which caused Jefferey to bleed as well. Oh Pi stood back. "That's it. Even though I was just a baby I know who you are! You destroyed my planet! You are that very Xertra that killed my parents, killed my family! No... KILLED MY PEOPLE!!!" Oh Pi let loose a full barrage attack of punches and kicks, slightly injuring Jefferey. "Xertra?" Jefferey said confused. "No no, my names Jefferey. Jeff-er-ey. Jefferey." Oh Pi was too blinded by rage to listen to him, and shot a laser at full power towards his heart. A huge explosion occurred, even entirely engulfing Oh Pi. He was exhausted, the blast he fired would cause him to recharge for a few seconds. When the smoke cleared there was no sign of Jefferey. Thinking he had killed him, Oh Pi sighed. "My my you really thought that blast would do more then burn my scales a little? Sorry, but charcoal just isn't my look." Jefferey said from behind Oh Pi, ripping the burnt scales off and playing with them in his hand. Surprised, Oh Pi looked behind him. "How...how did you..." Just as he said that Jefferey stabbed each scale into Oh Pi's back, regenerating the spot he ripped them off from into a newer, more luscious purple that was more vibrant then the previous one. "You've got to be kidding me!" he said, looking at his torso and the differently colored scales. Oh Pi threw a back fist to his face, cracking his cross, and then round house kicked him in the side. Jefferey flew backwards and crashed through several planets, all of which barely helped slow his fall. Jefferey caught himself and rubbed the new purple scales. "It's okay you'll be safe" he whispered to them. His chest shot forward and all of his scales came flying off, Shooting out in every direction and destroying planets. His cross fell off, crumbling to pieces. His new scales shot in and his cross regrew. Jefferey returned to his normal state. He yawned and looked like he was about to fall asleep. Oh Pi came charging at him but Jefferey kicked him in the head, sending him flying for a change. "Sorry, but no touching. This exhibit does not allow it." Jefferey. Oh Pi came up from behind. "So your an exhibit, huh? I'll make sure to send you right into a museum!" Oh PI stabbed his beak into Jefferey's back and his second mouth extended into his body, ready to rip out organs. Except there where none. So, Oh Pi began charging a bomb inside of Jefferey. "Son of a bitch!" Jefferey said, elbowing Oh Pi in the face. This still didn't disturb the creature from executing his plans. "You know, I've always contemplated turning red." Jefferey smiled. Oh Pi looked confused. "Wait what do you mean by... oh no. Oh no no no no no do not do that." Then Oh Pi became concerned. Jefferey grinned. "Imma do it." Oh Pi shook his head. "Imma splode it." Jefferey grew a malicious smile and said "No you won't." Just as he said that his scales all shot inside of him thanks to Jefferey forcing them into his body. Oh Pi looked on in horror. "This is just a misunderstanding." he said. "If you want I can clean your scales for a whole week. Just dont do it." Jefferey yawned. "Too late." The scales surrounding the second mouth shot forward, cutting it off. Oh Pi reeled back and screamed in agony. Jefferey then shot the other scales out into the energy ball, but instead of making it explode, He controlled it! He shot the energy ball right into Oh Pi's mouth, making it explode. The largest explosion Jefferey had scene from another kaiju blew him back and seriously damaged him. Jefferey struggled to find balance as he sank to the bottom of the universe. "Damn..." he said, eye closing. He was awakened by the sudden shock of horrible pain, and then fell asleep again.
Jefferey woke up a few hours later to find his tail had been ripped off, Impaled his throat, and was now being kicked and beaten by Oh Pi. "Stop..." He said in a tone barely understandable due to the tail in his throat. Oh Pi suddenly stopped. Irony. "Huh?" The Ohpinian said, backing up. Jefferey brought himself to his feet, finding himself on a deserted planet. He grabbed the base of his tail and ripped it out of his flesh, making an even worse wound. Jefferey regenerated his body. "Shall we continue?" Jefferey asked, getting ready to fight. He noticed Oh Pi was no longer insanely muscular. "Tired of looking like an idiot?" Jefferey remarked, grinning. "Actually..." Oh Pi began. "I'm not quite over that phase yet." Oh Pi's body twisted and popped into a near mimic image of Jefferey. "Clever." Jefferey remarked. "But only an idiot transforms into a body he doesn't know how to-" Jefferey was suddenly cut off by Oh Pi's tail driving into his throat. He began to thrash and throw the not amused Jefferey around before spinning the drill and then firing a laser out of it. Jefferey went flying before getting up again and getting in a battle ready stance. Jefferey duplicated himself thousands of times and began attacking Oh Pi all at once. Oh Pi unleashed a huge energy pulse that destroyed the clones. "Your not the only one who can do that." Oh Pi said, also duplicating himself. "Now it's not fun." Jefferey said, instantly exploding all of them leaving no trace of the organic beings that where once there. Jefferey soared up into the air and began charging up a huge ball of energy. Oh Pi did the same, reverting back to his normal form. The two balls collided, causing massive shock waves, destroying the entire galaxy they where fighting in. Oh Pi was furious, on the brink of insanity. He began to charge up mass amounts of energy as his body turned completely into a very over saturate color. Jefferey, seeing no means to end this battle quickly did the same. So much energy was being shot out of their bodies even the two god like beings found it hard to control. Everything around them burned and began to turn into bright colors. The two charged at each other, and in one fatal blow with their bodies, everything around them turned to nothing. They where surrounded with nothingness.
David sat at a table with his college friends and professor. "What do you mean he just left? I thought he loved you." Katherine said. The people in and around the cafe obviously took this in the wrong way as they where out in the city. "Oh my god David, I'm so sorry." Susan said, honestly surprised something like this happened. "Well, at least that means he won't be camped out in my office or classroom." said Professor Marsh. His face was slightly red and inside he was worried, he just wouldn't show it to anyone. "C'mon, grow a heart man! That's like saying your glad someones dead dog isn't pissing in your yard!" Said David's child hood friend Barry. "If you'll be excusing me, I need to prepare tomorrows assignment. Make sure to study." Marsh said, walking to his car and driving off, leaving a half drinken bottle of water behind. "What a douche." Barry said, watching his professor drive away. "I don't understand what goes on in that guys head." David sighed. "It's just his way of coping. He does like Oh Pi, it's just that he's a little less open." "You know, Davids right." said Katherine, butting in to help her friends. "He doesn't normally act like this, and he's usually a pretty nice guy behind all of that authoritative stuff." Susan just nodded. "What ever." Barry said, getting up and grabbing everyone's empty paper cups. "I'll take these." He walked over to the trash can and dumped the cups. As we was walking back he and the cafe suddenly got eclipsed by nothingness, taking the others with it.
The two monsters looked each other in the eye, their souls locking onto each other. Jefferey threw a kick which was blocked by Oh Pi's second mouth, which had regenerated whilst Jefferey was unconscious. Jefferey's kick caused a small flash to appear, however nothing happened. Oh Pi retracted and then launched his second mouth out again which hit Jefferey square in the face. Jefferey then retaliated with a tail whip across the Ohpinians body, the two attacks making more flashes. The two leapt back an began blasting rapid fire attacks from their bodies, slashing and exploding on the other person. Suddenly, Jefferey charged his cross beam, and Oh Pi charged his Oh Blig Tori beam, the two beams collided and caused a massive explosion. Around them, gasses spiraled and light began to flicker. They had just created the universe. The two stopped and looked around in awe, they had created their universe. Suddenly, reality was ripped apart as a huge skeletal fin dropped down and picked them up, taking them outside of their universe. As they where taken out, they saw it's face. It was a turtle.
"Okay you two." The large turtle creature said, eyeing them both. The where floating above a beach of universes, behind them and ocean of antimatter. An extremely large fold up chair and umbrella rose up from the beach. The turtle lay down in the chair. "What the hell where you doing? I was busy trying to contain a pesky monster that was opening up wormholes and having one of my assistants keep the fourth wall from breaking. The last thing I need is more universes being destroyed. It could cause a horrible chain reaction that could destroy our multiverse. You understand that?" The creature looked sternly at the two small kaiju who where busy chasing each other around the beach, now as large as the turtle creature. He sneezed and the two where teleported in front of him and restrained."Do any of you know what I just said?" the turtle creature asked. The two kaiju shook their heads. "Do you know who I am?" Again, their heads shook side to side. "I am Skeleturtle. I own you, your universe, this beach, this fold up chair, that umbrella, and the multiverse. I have the tiring job of keeping everything in check. And you two are making that quite difficult. Understand?" The two nodded. "Okay, good. You two destroyed and created a universe. Do you understand how that can cause problems?" Only Oh Pi nodded his head, Jefferey had fallen asleep. He was suddenly shocked with electricity at such a high voltage it hurt him."This isn't nap time. Anyways," the turtle god continued to ramble about how dangerous what the monsters did was, scolding them and getting aggravated in some points. Eventually, he stopped. Skeleturtle sighed. "I'm going to reset your universe in the exact way that it went, with you doing everything up to the point that you destroyed it. Prepare to relive your lives in 8 seconds." Skeleturtle closed his eyes as Jefferey and Oh Pi where teleported out of his realm. He opened his eyes exactly 8 seconds later, returning them to his realm. "We good?" The two kaiju nodded their heads. "You two will be spending an entire Earth day here. Understood? After that your universe will be normal again." Again, the kaiju nodded heads. "Now go to sleep." Skeleturtle said, knocking the two kaiju unconscious and dropping them to the ground. "I hate kids, especially when they screw with my job. But you know, these guys are really stupid. Hate em' even more." The turtle god relaxed a little on his folding chair. He let out a huge yawn as he too began too fall asleep. He opened his eyes and looked at the two unconscious kaiju. "I'm going to get payback. That was the hardest thing I've done in a few millennia." He yawned. "Actually... maybe that could wait a few more centuries." The turtle god let out another yawn as his head fell.
THE END...[]
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