Stuff Always Happens at the Bar is the thirty-second episode of Council of Creators. It was written by Scoobydooman90001.
Plot[]
Wolfzilla sat by a fireplace that had recently been installed into the bar. She held her paws in front of the flames and embraced the warmth of the fire. Before we could spend any more time with her and develop her character (despite it being the 32nd episode), the other Creators burst through a door arguing over something that was probably really trivial and didn't matter much. "Hey sis" said Cdr, finally addressing her as his sister after what seemed like an eternity of sidelining her as a background character. "What are you doing?" he asked. "I'm just taking in the fire" she said, smiling as it got warmer. "Think it builds character" she said. "Cool" said Nerd, dismissing what she said so that he could get Cdr to start arguing again. In typical COC fashion, Scoobs was sleeping against the bar as he had stayed there during the night. Hokuto Black King wiped the table clean of booze, lifting Scoobs away from the table and then dropping him back down after he had cleaned the exposed area. Scoobs groaned and sat up, yawning heavily and stretching his arms. "Oh, I fell asleep by the bar again. Whoops." He staggered over to the wall to go to his bedroom and then collapsed, still incredibly hung over. "Where's Mosu and BRK?" asked Nerd, taking a TV remote from Indominus and turning off the anime he had been watching. "We were here the entire time" said Mosu as he and BRK emerged from out of the background. "Oh" said Nerd, turning away as Mosu and BRK retreated into the background. John and Koopa emerged from the laboratory from downstairs, having finished some more work on a project that would likely go unnamed and never be mentioned again. "That was very tiring, fixing that" said John, rubbing sweat away from his head. Koopa nodded his head and observed a giant crack running up the wall. "Has that wall always been broken like that?" asked Koopa. "What wall?" asked Cdr, looking up from his phone. "These three walls aren't broken" explained Koopa, pointing to them. "But that one is." They all looked at the wall. "Huh. That's strange" said Nerd. "It's not even that subtle" said Cdr. "Yeah, it's almost as if someone has deliberately done it in the least subtle way possible" observed Koopa. He turned to John. "Guess we'll have to fix it later." They turned around to go back to the laboratory.
BANG! Before they could even prepare to repair the broken wall, a laser blasted out from the universe portal and collided with the wall, completely exploding it. The portal expanded and became green in colour as two giant kaiju emerged from it, firing lasers back into the portal at whatever monstrosity was following them. They both have human features but looked like animals. One was a giant crab-like monster with a yellow shirt and brown hair. The other was like a salamander, with a white slender body, grey skin and blue fins running down his back. "Quick, close the portal, Mor--- burp ---Morty!" shouted the Salamander. "But Rick! I... I don't.... I don't know how to do that!" shouted the crab-like one. The Creators watched on in a stunned state of silence as they watched the madness unfold in front of them. "Just f***ing shoot it, Morty! Shoot the buuuuurp portal buuuuurp the portal, Morty!" shouted the salamander. The crab shouted in anger and impaled the universe portal with his stinger, causing it to short circuit and close down. Everyone stared at the broken machine in silence. "Oh, well done buuuurp Morty, destroyed the machine. How are we gonna buuuurp get back now?" Recovering from his hangover, Scoobs leaned against the wall and slowly stood up. He looked at the two kaiju in front of him. "Great..." he said. "Why if it isn't Rickulon and Mortyrah..." He shook his head as his headache slowly faded away. "Rick, where... where are we?" asked Mortyrah. "Seems like we're in somebodies bad fan fiction, Morty. Some really ba--- buuurp ---bad fan fiction full of self-insert characters." Mortyrah gasped in fear. "Bad fan fiction?! But, but, Rick! We... What if we start getting shipped... or something..." Rickulon slapped him around the face with his tail. "Get a grip, Morty, get your s**t together! We're not in some Tumblr story pandering to obsessive teenagers. We're in some buuurp web series written by nerds of buuurp giant monster movies. We aren't gonna get shipped."
"Uh, excuse me?" asked Koopa, stepping forwards. "What do you mean someone's fan fiction? This is our bar, and you and your, uh, friend, have just smashed it up." Rickulon looked at him for a second and turned back to Mortyrah. "Okay, they clearly don't know that they're in a fan fiction, so we have to be careful. Don't say anything buuurp catastrophic or one of two things could happen, the universe could explode" explained Rickulon. Blindly believing this, Mortyrah sighed. "Wow... Jeez Rick, what... what's the other thing?" he asked. "The world could be reshaped in Jake Paul's image, and then we'd be really buuuurp f***ed." "Isn't Jake Paul that... that stupid YouTuber?" asked Mortyrah. "Yes, Morty, and then we're gonna have to dab on all of our haters. Do you want that, Morty? Is that too much for you, Morty?" he asked, continuing to repeat Morty's name over and over. "Yes, Rick, I... I get it... I don't want to dab... With these crab arms, I don't think I can dab... I don't want to dab, Rick." Koopa slightly tapped Rickulon's back with his tail to get his attention. "I've no idea what you're talking about, but can I please ask what you're doing here?" he asked. "Yeah" said Scoobs, approaching them. "Why aren't you and Morty here off running around different universes having adventures?" Immediately recognising Scoobs, Rickulon pounced at him and pushed him against a wall. He stood up on his hind legs to match Scoob's height. "You created me!" shouted Rick. "You created me you mother fu---" "---Rick!" shouted Mortyrah, grabbing him and trying to pull him back. "Rick, calm down, let him go, what happened to not... not saying anything that could explode the universe!" asked Mortyrah, pulling him away. "F**k that, Morty, this guy created us and made us the way we buuurp are! Grab a phone, Morty! Grab the f***ing phone!"
Panicking, Mortyrah ran over to a bar and reached for the phone. However, Hokuto Black King quickly pulled it away from him. "Give... Give me... Give me the phone!" pathetically ordered Mortyrah, trying to intimidate him. "Give him the f***ing phone or your friend buuurp dies!" shouted Rickulon. Hokuto Black King still hesitated to give Mortyrah the phone. "Morty, stab him with your buuurp stinger!" Mortyrah raised his stinger and threw it into Hokuto Black King's neck, forcing him to drop the phone in pain. "I've got the phone!" shouted Mortyrah. "What do you want me to do?" he asked. "Call the police!" shouted Rickulon. "This is a f***ing hostage situation!" Nerd withdrew one of his blades but a small sphere-shaped robot emerged out of Rickulon's fins, firing a laser at Nerd's feet to keep him back. "Morty, call the buuurp police!" he ordered. Morty quickly dialed the three-digit number and waited for the police to answer. "Wait, Rick" said Morty, putting down the phone for a second. "If... If we're in someone's fan fiction, surely they... surely they created you and not... not this Scooby Doo guy, you know? You'd think... You'd think that---" "---What's there not to get buuurp Morty? We're in a weird online fan fiction about weird buuurp Godzilla kaijus and self-insert characters. Whoever's writing this episode we're buuurp we're in self-inserted himself but made it canon that this is buuurp the real world in this multiverse and that his self-insert buuurp invented us and made us the way we buuurp are. Try and wrap that around your head, Morty, maybe you'll do it fast enough that you'll buuurp be celebrating your 50th birthday and not your f***ing 80th."
"Hello?" asked a voice on the other end of the phone. "Hand me the phone, Morty" demanded Rickulon, pressing Scoobs' face into the wall. "But Rick, you'll... you'll have to stop pushing him against the wall and then he... he can escape, Rick" explained Morty, expressing his concerns. "Don't question my ingenuity, Mor---buuurp---ty" frowned Rickulon, snatching the phone from it and wedging it in between his head and shoulders that he apparently has despite being a lizard. "Mosu" whispered Cdr, tapping his arm to get his attention. "Yes?" he asked. "Think you could use your powers of being relegated to background character status to get to the front door and escape for help?" he asked, observing Rickulon scream death threats down the phone. "Probably" said Mosu, beginning to edge his way around the room, keeping close to the wall. He was getting closer and closer to the door, but suddenly Mortyrah turned around and hurled acid out of his mouth, spitting it as a projectile weapon. "Rick!" shouted Mortyrah. Rickulon turned to face Mortyrah and saw Mosu shaking the door handle. "He's been noticed. He's becoming a main character" whispered Indominus to Cdr. Before Mortyrah could get him with his stinger, Mosu managed to open the door and expanded his wings, launching himself into the air so that he could get help. "Morty, keep a buuurp close eye on the buuurp other ones" demanded Rick. He brandished a knife and held it up against Scoobs' neck for dramatic effect.
Just ten minutes later, the police had surrounded the bar. The Creators inside were helpless, fearing to do anything as they would be instantly killed if they dared to fight back. Wolfzilla had succumbed to the horrible stereotypical fate that most bland undeveloped female characters do, crying into Cdr's arms. Rickulon dragged Scoobs to the other side of the room in a choke hold and looked out of the window. "Don't try anything buuurp funny or the copyright infringing character gets it" warned Rickulon, holding a knife to his throat. Two police officers stood aside as a man in a brown jacket emerged into view. "My name is Sturrio Tiepo, hostage negotiator!" he shouted into a megaphone. "What are your demands?" He watched as Mosu fluttered down next to him. "I want buuurp a bucket load of that discontinued Szechaun sauce that McDonalds did to buuurp promote Mulan, or something vaguely similar, a one way ticket to Mexico and I better get those things f***ing quick or I'll begin shooting hostages, from most developed to least developed" he demanded. "Thank Scoot I get to live the longest" said BRK from inside the building, before being slapped by Mortyrah's tail. The hostage negotiator turned around and put his hand against his forehead. "Just give him what he wants" said Mosu. "He's not really asking for much" he added. "Are you joking?" asked the negotiator. "He wants the god damn discontinued Mulan sauce. Every god damn hostage situation, its always the same, give me something almost impossible to find, great, just great..." He sighed, grabbed his megaphone and turned back around to the bar. "We can't get you the McDonalds Mulan sauce, sir" he explained. "However, there's a takeaway shop down the street, they probably have something you'd like. How about we give you all of their sauces in exchange for one hostage? How does that sound, sir?" Rickulon hesitated for a second, considering the negotiator's offer.
Mosu sighed and headed towards the police chief. "This isn't going to work" he said. "You're going to have to infiltrate the place" he said. "If you know a way to get in there, kid, then you tell us or you stop wasting our time" grunted the chief, not even bothering to look at him. "There's an underground passage in the dumpster around the back that we've never used before and is only here now because its convenient" said Mosu, leading the chief towards it. Meanwhile, the negotiator was still debating different sauces with Rickulon. "What sauces are McDonalds currently buuurp doing?" asked Rickulon. "They've only got the usual selection of sauces, sir. We could strike you up a deal, say, two hostages for a tank of their BBQ sauce?" asked the hostage negotiator. "Two hostages, two buuurp tanks" said Rickulon. "No can do, sir. You give us two hostages or no tanker of sauce" he said. "You've already got the f***ing Serbian buuurp moth" moaned Rickulon. "What more could you buuurp want?" Suddenly, he realised Mosu was nowhere to be seen. "Where the f*** is he?!" demanded Rickulon, smashing Scoobs' face against the window. "Where's that stupid f***ing buuurp moth?!" shouted Rickulon. "Rick!" shouted Mortyrah, turning around as Mosu and a group of police officers raided the bar. Before Mortyrah could react, a police officer hit him across the face with the back of their gun and quickly restrained him with the help of another officer. "You f***ing traitors!" shouted Rickulon, tightening his grip on Scoobs. "Don't do anything stupid now..." said the police officer, trying to calm him down. "You can still walk away from all this. Just put the knife down. You're drastically outnumbered." Another officer quickly helped the other Creators up to their feet and escorted them to the back of the room. It didn't really make any difference though as they were wearing actual plot armour. "Nice chain mail vest" said a female officer to Nerd, stroking it and feeling the rattly metal chains. "I'll add that to my list of ships" said Cdr, writing it down on a notepad.
"Do as they say" asked Scoobs, trying to pry Rickulon's hands away from his neck. "Kill me, and you cease to even exist" he lied, trying to get Rickulon to put the knife down. "Let us fix the portal and you and Mortyrah can go home" he said, trying to solve this situation as peacefully as possible. "No!" shouted Rickulon, bringing the knife closer to his throat. "You made me this buuurp way, you deserve to be buuurp punished for buuurp it." Scoobs choked as Rickulon's grip tightened. "Let me go and I'll just add on to your story and say you managed to become human again!" shouted Scoobs in a desperate attempt to bargain for his life. Rickulon considered this and began to loosen his grip. He quickly tightened it. "Give me fifty buuurp seasons as well, we're gonna ride this hype train longer than the god damn Simpsons!" he shouted. "Alright, alright!" shouted Scoobs. Rickulon let go and Scoobs fell to his knees, clutching his throat and gasping for air. "Fix the stupid universe buuurp portal thing" said Rickulon. The police officers kept their guns ready just in case he made any sudden movements. Koopa and John walked over to the portal, examined it and whispered to each other. "This may surprise you, but the portal isn't even broken" he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "What? How?" asked Wolfzilla. "Well, for unknown in-universe reasons, it's just kind of happened. I'd say though, that judging by Rickulon's earlier comments about online fan fiction, this must be some kind of story, the portal is fine because its convenient to the plot and we somehow aren't having an existential crisis." Nerd nodded his head. "Makes sense" he said. The portal suddenly opened up and Rickulon stepped through. The police officers pushed the unconscious Mortyrah across the carpet and into the portal, where he too disappeared.
"All's well that ends well!" exclaimed Koopa as the portal closed. Scoobs quickly ran over to the portal and began messing around with the system settings. "What are you doing?" asked Indominus. "Locking Universe 137 so nothing can get in there and nothing from it can cross into this specific universe. Once it's locked, it's permanently locked. There's a bunch of other universes locked for some reason as well. One has a weird shark monster in. Shame we can't visit it." He stood down and the portal deactivated. Universe 137 was locked away for good. "So when are you gonna rewrite Rickulon so he becomes human again?" asked Nerd, getting up off of the ground. "I'm not" said Scoobs. "He held a knife to my neck and threatened to kill me. He's not getting anything." Scoobs turned to look at Cdr, unaware of the crack in the wall behind him as it began to grow in size. "So... Now that this ordeal is over... When are you gonna finish Episode 30? The first and second episodes of Season Two are already complete and you're still writing the Season One finale" he said. "The Season One finale of what?" asked Cdr, utterly confused. "The Season One finale of Council of Creators" said Scoobs. Before Cdr could reply, the crack expanded again and reality suddenly began warping around them, just like Rickulon said would happen earlier on! The bar began to shake and all four walls exploded, knocking the Creators to the ground. The bar itself launched into space and began to transcend reality, taking the Creators further than they had ever gone before.
They were in the real world. On some website, some users on a website called Wikizilla were discussing an online web series that they enjoyed writing in their spare time. The fourth wall had been broken so much that the Creators had literally transcended reality.
The nine Creators floated in the void as they gazed upon their real life counterparts interacting with each other. They now understood life, their purpose and their place as 'real people' in the 'real world' of their large and expansive multiverse on the Fan Made Kaiju Wikia. Their real life counterparts were blissfully unaware that their own fictional creations were watching them in a strange, empty void. The police officers were also there and to say that they were confused is a bit of an understatement. Suddenly, a caped ghost-like kaiju with blonde hair appeared. "It is I, Four!" he shouted. He held his hammer into the air and the black void began to expand. The Creators shielded their eyes as a bright white flash engulfed everything around it, blinding them all.
Back in the bar, the four walls were intact again and everything was back as it had been at the beginning of the episode. The wall with a crack in it ever so slightly trembled as the crack in it faded away. The crack was gone and the fourth wall was no longer broken. Everything that had happened had been wiped from time itself by Four to keep the multiverse in balance. Universe 137 remained locked but none of the Creators knew of what had happened. It was the morning again and Wolfzilla was sat by the fireplace that had recently been installed. She held her paws in front of the flames and embraced the warmth of the fire. Before she could fully appreciate the beauty of the dancing flames, she was interrupted by the other Creators as they burst through the door. They were arguing about what kaiju should have been in the PS4 Godzilla game. Scoobs was asleep against the bar, having spent the entire night in the bar. Indominus was watching an anime on TV. Koopa and John emerged from the downstairs laboratory, having finished work on a machine that would allow them to replenish organic food artificially. "That was very tiring, fixing that" said John, rubbing sweat away from his head. Koopa nodded his head and observed a giant crack running up the wall. But then, he didn't. There was no crack on the wall. He rubbed his eyes to make sure he could see properly. "Well" he said, turning to John. "I think we deserve a good old drink after that." They sat down at the bar and ordered some wine.
THE END
Appearances[]
Council Of Creators[]
- Cdrzillafanon
- Scoobydooman90001
- Koopa
- SuperNerd
- MosuFan2004
- BigRandomKaiju
- Indominus Rex 2016
- JohnGojira
- Wolfzilla
Kaiju[]
- Hokuto Black King
- Rickulon
- Mortyrah
- Four (cameo)
Trivia[]
- This is the first story on the wiki to actually visit Universe 0, the real world, thanks to the strange circumstances this particular story happens to be in. However, as Universe 0 is the real world that we live in, it obviously only makes a short appearance as giant furry dog monsters resembling Scooby Doo don't exist in real life.
- This story was written with the fourth wall in mind, with the story itself pointing out different things, criticizing some of the flaws that the series and the characters have and then transcending reality itself at the end.
- This is the first story in which a kaiju meets their creator and acknowledges that they were responsible for creating them. This fits in with the actual Rick and Morty, who often break the fourth wall.
- This is also the only story in which the Creators find out that they are just fictional self-insert characters. However, their minds are wiped by Four at the end so that they don't remember this story happening.
- This story reveals that the multiple fourth wall breaks over the course of the first season have resulted in the fourth wall of the bar literally cracking and creating a fracture in time, suggesting that the bar may have some mystical unknown power to it that even the Creators don't know about.
- This story references how the first two episodes of Season Two were written and finished before the Season One finale was completed. This reference literally breaks reality itself.
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