User blog:KingOfKretaceous/Kaiju Reviews: Episode 1

=DISCLAIMER: If this is your kaiju, and you get offended by me saying bad stuff about it, I'm sorry. Just go on my message wall and scream at me, although I'll probably ignore you, because I most likely have better things to do.=Hi there, people reading this. This is a new series where me, a loser who has no right to say shit, says shit about the fan kaiju on this wikia.Today we're reviewing 2 kaiju, although this is a pilot special, so the rest after this will probably have only one kaiju per review.Today we'll be looking at Indominus Ghidorah and Serpentis. Let's get ourselves in.Indominus GhidorahFirst impressionIndominus Ghidorah is what it sounds like. Sort of. It's an Indominus that can turn into the Heisei King Ghidorah. I feel like that description should give you my thoughts on this kaiju. But, it has some more depth.It's already shallow as hell, though, from what I've seen so far.AppearanceIt looks like a common I. rex but it can turn into Heisei King Ghidorah. Because it's common fact that I. rex are rather common(there's a joke about this in the comments of the article).HistoryApparently it was born in an unknown location, and he was born with the powers of Ghidorah, making him think he was the most powerful force in the galaxy. I'm assuming he means King Ghidorah, but I'm not sure because there's 3 Ghidorah species(?) made by Toho that I know of: Desghidorah, King Ghidorah and Keizer Ghidorah. Anyways, Indominus Ghidorah saw the battle between Raptor and Salem. After this battle, Indo. Ghidorah assumes that Raptor wants to challenge him. Because, in the real life universe, seeing two people fight means that one of them wants to beat your ass.He gives Raptor a few days to rest, and then he challenged Raptor for the "tittle"(whatever the hell tittle means) of "King of the Monsters". There's a section that calls out the bullshit of this kaiju which states that King of the Monsters is Godzilla's "tittle", not Raptor's, which is "great logic". It is, indeed, some fantastic logic. Turns out Raptor is more stronger than Indominus(:O), and is nearly killed(insert Steven Universe joke here). So, later in time, I. rex met Cinder and Space Raptor, who, "helped him get cured". Was he weakened in his battle from a severe case of the common cold? Now, I. rex is full hate for Raptor, and probably lives on the thought that he'll one day attempt to get revenge on Raptor. Raptor will probably just turn into a black hole and eat Indo. Ghidorah, though, so yeah.Abilities SectionIndominus Ghidorah has the most complex description of the sheer powers of this kaiju. Are you ready for how specific this description is?"The same as an I. rex and King Ghidorah."HOLY SHIT THAT IS DESCRIPTIVE!!I can forgive this part, because I'm usually very vague when people ask me to describe things.That ends this train wreck of a train wreck kaiju. This kaiju gets a 3/10. The typos are lacking, but it's such a plain and boring character. It's sort of like a bigger Raptor, but with much, much less forms. It's also mercifully short, but it's too short to convey much information.Let's get onto Serpentis, which can't be worse.Right?SerpentisFirst ImpressionSerpentis, unlike many articles, has no first sentence. This doesn't give you a general idea of what to expect, which isn't good, but it's not bad, either, because the next few sections should give you the main idea.AppearanceI'm bored, so I'll describe my opinions of what Serpentis' forms look like.So, regular Serpentis, who resides on the top of this stack, resembles a mosasaur that fell into a can of purple paint when it was born.Neo Serpentis looks like the result of a one night stand between a Skullcrawler and a Smurf. Why would anyone do that, I don't really know.Omega Serpentis, living on the bottom, looks like a terribly painted toy in the form of an Aerodactyl. You know, the kinds of toys you find on eBay for about 5 bucks.The real descriptions for these things are as follows;Normal Serpentis is a purple snake kaiju that attacks in groups, always let by a Neo serpent. So these kaiju need permission to attack shit? What is this, Kaiju Kindergarten?The Neo Serpent has a diferent shades of purple(proper grammar there, mate), along with arms, they always lead a group of Serpentis. Oh, so the regular Serpentis are LED by a Neo serpent. Makes a tad more sense.TBA. That makes things a bit faster, doesn't it?There's nothing in History yet, so I'll just skip that.AbilitiesThe normal Serpentis has no abilities, besides its strength, which isn't really an ability, but it's the only thing the guy has.Neo Serpentis has a weak JP Dilophosaurus thing going on, with a poison spit that blinds the opponent for a few seconds.Omega Serpentis is a fire flighter, meaning it can both fly and shoot fire. On the page, the Omega Serpentis is described as having a "Fligh" ability. I think it's supposed to read flight, but probably not.I give this kaiju a 5/10. There are far more typos, but the designs are creative. The abilities are nothing special, but this kaiju gets bonus points for being the creator's most creative kaiju.Well, this thing is finally over. Have a good rest of your day, whether it be 16 hours or 9 minutes.