User blog:KingOfKretaceous/Kaiju Reviews: Episode 9

How's it going gamers? Today we're returning to the realm of pieces of shit kaiju because the random button picked Pennygary. Well, technically it didn't because it landed on it on the 5th spin, but I also really want to talk about this kaiju and its creator. I'd also say Merry Christmas, but that was yesterday and now there's a year left 'till it rolls around again, so hecc you. Anyways, let's just get into this.

also i haven't done the monthly written thing because i'm lazy lol

Pennygary
This kaiju was made by Yonggary AKA Reptilian, who is a whole different story. I'll get into what they did after the review.

Appearance


So according to this cheggeroni page, she is an almost shapeless mass and- wait. She? Last time I checked, Yonggary (the monster and the dude) was a he and Pennywise was also male? Maybe genderless, but I'm not into movies about shape-shifting fear-feeding clown people. Anyways, they're an almost shapeless mass, but normally takes the unorthodox form of "Pennygary the Dancing Kaiju". The design is really strange & unappealing to me. I like John's art a lot, but the drawing is kinda yucko. I think this is more of a problem with the idea than the execution, though. It's a lizard-esque monster in a clown costume. Is that not strange? To each their own, though.

History
Ok, here's the main attraction, the prime composition of the evaporated piss known as Pennygary. Anyways, it begins with a bad "joke", which is the following,

"Pennygary, er, sorry IT..."

Anyways, Pennygary, ER SORRY I T, apparently originates in a place where its kind was at the top of the consumable link. She decided to take a visit to planet Erath, where she descended onto the town of Derry in Maine. Alright, well, here's my biggest problem with the article. It tries to justify a monster eating people, and even make it sympathetic. And not only that, but it does it horrendously. Please, look at these lines and tell me it doesn't deserve to commit arsenic seasoned food.

"I mean, she's just an animal, she's not purely evil like you think she is. I mean, she only hunts out of pure neccistity, not her own enjoyment."

It's hard to make a human-eating monster justifiable, and I think it's better to not really attempt it, more so if you're throwing sympathy in the mix. Anyways, it tries to hammer this further by only summoning its "greatness" when someone in the area does something bad. Here's a list on the page itself;

"In 1907, a man walked into a bar and chopped up a bunch of innocent bystanders, awakening IT. She went on a rampage with a vengeance, but then went back to herhibernation. Again in 1934, a racist cult burned down a bar for African-American people called the Black Spot, again awakening her to attack again. Then again in 1961, a Derry man poisoned his own family and then commited scuicide, causing her to awaken again. Later on in 1988, a man strangled his own son, provoking her to attack. "

From here on out, I think the story is just a rehashing of IT: the movie. I'm not into the horror genre, let alone a shape-shifting people-eating clown man, so I don't know. At the end, they apparently burn 200 of Pennygary's eggs. So the "Losser Club" does some shenanigans with Pennygary before beating her until she's powerless. She went back into hibernation and they apparently feel sorry for starving her. Fuck you, she ate one of your friend's brother's arms. I don't give a shit if they feel sorry about starving a monster. They swear to split up, gang, unless Pennygary returns in the next 27 years.

She returned 28 years later and ate everyone in Derry because the Losser Club was all like, "past our deadline lol not our problem"

This is bad for a lot of reasons. One, it tries to justify the man eating monster. Two, it tries to sympathize with the man eating monster. Three, it's not an original story. It's a retelling of IT with a crappy OC.

This page decides to yeet on the abilities section, and I don't care enough to assume anything so moving on.

Trivia
So this kid has 4 trivia points:

1. She's based off mostly of the 2017 version, which is fair enough I guess.

2. She's one of the super duper rare sympathetic villians!!1! uwu owo uwu and NO. She is not. It tries so desperately to make it just misunderstood, and fails so miserably.

3. She's also inspired by the Demogorgon or smth. I dunno what that is so uh whatever

4. She's an epic may-may collab between JohnGojira and Yonggary AKA Reptile. When I say "epic may-may collab", I mean borderline harassing John for what are basically art commissions without any pay at all.

KingOfKretaceous' Official Yonggary AKA Reptilian Rant
I have extreme negative feelings towards Yonggary herself. Actually, towards the end of "her" fiasco on the wiki, we found "her" YouTube channel and found out that "she" was actually a dude. So they're a trap. They're gay. Anyways enough of that dead meme, here's a few reasons why Yonggary was a toxic member of our community.

Overall Bad Pages
Now, someone can have bad pages and still be a nice person. But a lot of Yonggary's pages were really just bad, unfinished mashed up versions of kaiju and popular slashers. You also might be familiar with their epic sauce MechaYonggary page, which was the best and most beautiful page ever with the single "M" (unironically speaking it's probably the worst page on the wiki yet).

General Attitude
Linking to my last point, someone can have bad pages and still be a nice person. However, Yonggary was not really a nice person. His attitude was abrasive and impatient, unwilling to wait a few hours for a slasher kaiju drawing from JohnGojira. He also argued with some of the Wiki staff members for things such as a robot having a gender, or knowing everything about the 1999 Yonggary film. You can see some of this behavior in these threads: https://fan-made-kaiju.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:25973 & https://fan-made-kaiju.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:26163

Demanding Art from JohnGojira
So, you can also see this behavior in the linked threads. Yonggary harshly requested art from John, a very nice and friendly user. If John didn't draw a shitty kaiju slasher every 10 hours, Yonggary would get pissy and begin demanding the art be delivered ASAP. He wouldn't even say things like, "It's been over a week. Please hurry if you can." Instead, he goes, "It's been 10 hours and you haven't drawn my Kiryu Terminator horror man. Do it now." Obviously, this is not what you should do.

Faking Gender
Of course, this is a minor point, but I think it deserves a bit more mentioning. So Yonggary insisted he was a girl, and assumedly by that logic, insisted that the Yonggary kaiju was a female. This also led to Yonggary saying that I was a woo-men, only to seemingly retract the statement and say that they thought they were talking about him.

Conclusion of Everything
Pennygary is just not good. It's the first (and best(but still bad)) of the kaiju slasher things. It doesn't even mention abilities, although I guess you're supposed know Yonggary and Pennywise's powers; Pennygary would have both, assumedly. The story is a bad version of IT with a bad OC replacing Pennywise. I'll give Pennygary a 3/10. HOWEVER, due to Yonggary AKA Reptilian's toxic behavior, I'm going to subtract one point from the score for every point in my little rant. So that's 4 points, so 3-4 is -1. Pennygary gets a -1/10 let's hear a round of applause for the man the myth the legend yonggary aka reptiliaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

So that's done. This was probably one of the most draining reviews I've done, or maybe I'm just really tired today. This is the last of the single digit episodes, so that's pretty cool. Never thought I'd reach that point at the rate I was going. As always, see ya in the next one.