Mecha Mega Sharkosuchoctopusnado's Shoddy, Silly & Strange Shenanigans: Pilot

Pilot is the first episode of Mecha Mega Sharkosuchoctopusnado's Shoddy, Silly & Strange Shenanigans. It shows the creation of Mecha Mega Sharkosuchoctopusnado, her breaking out of Universe 374 and her battle with her creator, KingOfKretaceous.

Plot
It was the night of the sixth of November, and a lot of creatures were stirring. There was a supernatural one named KingOfKretaceous, and on paint.net he was doodling... something. It was a strange being, with the upper body of Sharkosuchus, a robotic left eye, and tentacles for legs. The creature had a transparent clock in the background, and circling it was a tornado. Staring at it was a much smaller Sharkosuchus. After finishing, he took a screenshot and sent it into the Wikizilla Discord. It was based off of a joke that some of the users had started, with it ending on "Mecha Mega Sharkosuchoctopusnado 6: It's About Time." Little did he know that as soon as he sent it, he started a chain of events that would lead to a multiversal-scale catastrophe.

In Universe 374, things were peaceful. The kaiju that had lived there had died over a year ago, going into a different universe and burning in the upper atmosphere. It was a flat area of land in the Great Plains, the area mostly coated in grass, with the sky illuminated a deep orange by the sunset. Suddenly, the air began swirling rapidly, creating a pseudo-tornado as it sucked in moisture from the surrounding areas, creating a rapidly rotating mass of clouds. The moisture suddenly distributed outward, becoming different chemical compounds entirely. They slowly created a shape in the form of what KingOfKretaceous had sent in the Wikizilla Discord. Starting out a neon white, they lost their glow and solidified into a new kaiju entirely - Mecha Mega Sharkosuchoctopusnado. It was close in appearance to what KingOfKretaceous had drawn. It was more proportional, with a smaller head and arms. It had a robotic right eye opposed to the left eye, and it lacked an orbiting tornado or a translucent clock behind it. It collapsed to the ground, and took a few seconds to rise up, letting out a groan when it did so.

"Ugh... where am I? My head is killin' me... Wait, did I even exist a few seconds ago?"

She twisted her head to examine the surroundings. She had no idea where she was, why she was there or what she even was. Despite this, she was unfazed and immediately began moving eastward towards the White House. While her presence was quickly reported and responded to, she paid little attention to the military planes, instinctively snagging them with her tentacles and swinging them into space with ease. On the way, she explored some of her abilities, such as summoning a few tornadoes, her Pyroclastic Blast, Tentacle Slam, Ring of Fire and even reversing time itself. Soon enough, she had reached the White House, and screamed out into the darkness of night.

"MR. DONALD TRUMP, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! LEND ME CONTROL OF THE WHITE HOUSE RIGHT NOW, OR ELSE I'LL DO SOMETHING THAT'LL RESULT IN YOUR DEATH!!!"

She didn't know any "Donald Trump" at the moment, yet still somehow knew he was the president of the United States. She was responded to with, "In your dreams, fatass octo-dinosaur... thing." Soon after, some jets flew into D.C., shooting at the massive target. She threw every single one into the White House without even looking at one, causing the death of Donald Trump.

"Hee hee, didn't hand over the House, and now look where you are, good sir. Your damned, pathetic corpse burning to a crisp inside this pile of disgusting rubble. No matter, though, cause your shitty nation is MINE now." She slammed her tentacles a few times into the pile of rubble that was the residence of Trump. She giggled for a bit while moving off, before turning into a cackle as she wiped out the rest of Washington D.C.

A few hours later, she had taken complete control of the Earth itself. Most of the rest of those puny humans had surrendered to her, and the ones that hadn't were... well, dead. She was resting in London, where the Tower Bridge had used to be. She tried sleeping on it, and her weight had simply caused it to cave in. She was bored, as these humans were predictable, and there was nothing even close to her size that she could challenge. That's when she got an idea. A delightfully devilish idea. "What if... I were to rapidly stop and start time, whip a certain spot with my tentacles rapidly and circle the spot with a few tornadoes? Nothin' will happen, but it's worth a shot."

She tried this, first speeding and slowing down time at a rapid rate. Next, she began circling tornadoes, all exceeding wind speeds of 300 miles per hour around a certain spot. Finally, she began rapidly whipping the spot that the tornadoes orbited. After doing this for five minutes, nothing had happened and her energy had been expended. "All that damn work for THIS SHIT?!?! Fuck, I'm winded. Ain't got ti-"

Suddenly, a flash of bright light caused her to flinch. She looked, and saw a portal to... somewhere. She giggled, relieved that her hard work had at least given her some result. She mockingly waved a goodbye to 374, cackling as she dived into the portal.

In 372, KingOfKretaceous was scrolling through some news. He thought most of them sucked to some degree, as a lot of them were about rather unimportant things. He tapped on one of the more interesting ones, glancing through it before going back to Discord. He was typing away when he heard the emergency alert noise, causing him to shake uncontrollably for a split second before turning to see what it was. On the television, it was talking about an emergency for the following counties, and that something gargantuan was attacking the city he was in. Quickly flipping it on to the news channel, he saw a creature resembling the thing he had drawn for his Discord. It was screaming things such as, "WHERE ARE YOU, KINGOFKRETACEOUS?!" and, "I KNOW YOU'RE HERE, AND YOU HAVE SOMETHING I WANT!!" The creature picked up someone in its tentacles. She seemed to be struggling as it crushed its entire body, dropping the crumpled up corpse while laughing. He quickly teleported to the situation, and watched the beast rampage through downtown. It turned and quickly drew him out from the rest of the running crowd.

"Ah, Kreta! I see you indeed are here, just as I suspected!" She knew nothing of KingOfKretaceous and where this was, but she knew that he lived here, and that he held something valuable. Something she sought.

"yeah, what about it?", Kreta quickly replied.

"YOU! You hold the Universal Portal Gun! Hand it over right now, or I'll shatter every bone in your feeble body, and I don't wanna have to do that. Wait, no, that sounds fucking great!!" Mecha Mega Sharkosuchoctopusnado broke out into uncontrollable laughter. Naturally, Kreta began laughing as well, but regained composure quickly.

"so, uh, gimme one good reason to give you the gun," he replied, trying to coax her into leaving. He knew it wouldn't work, but it was worth a shot.

"Cause I'll break every bone in your body! That's why!"

"yeah, uh, i can just heal that off, so whatever. i guess it'll hurt a lot, and i'm not a huge fan of extreme pain, but eh. it'll stop hurting. try again."

"Uhh, cause I'll kill you AND your family AND friends AND the human race and shit!"

"um, ok. i can't have you doing that, so i gotta fight you i guess? i dunno." Kreta rapidly grew to match the size of Mecha Mega Sharkosuchoctopusnado.

"It'll be a pleasure snapping your arms, neck, legs and cracking your skull open!"

"not really, but whatever. let's just get this over with."

Kreta quickly threw a punch, which was blocked by MMS. She hissed as he threw a second punch, the former who jumped over the skinny figure and quickly lashed her tentacle at him. He quickly slid to the left as it slammed into the ground, causing a pseudo-earthquake and knocking him off his feet. She launched a second tentacle at the fallen creator, who sprung to his feet and ran straight towards MMS. He leaped in the air and launched himself at MMS in a Flying Side Kick, which struck MMS directly in the face. She hissed in pain, and turned to face Kreta, who was now catching his breath.

"You're a strong opponent indeed, and your reflexes sharper than my teeth, but can you dodge THIS?!?!"

The clouds suddenly gathered together as a tornado descended from the skies. It landed next to Kreta, who tried to perform a hook kick to MMS, but was unable to as the tornado sucked him up and launched him away. He slammed into a skyscraper, groaning as he rose up. It hurt, but his wounds almost immediately began to heal. He suddenly switched his form to a stick bull shark as MMS moved over to continue their battle.

"Guess you couldn't dodge that one, heheheh... any of your bones feel broken yet?"

"not yet, but soon, maybe. might sound cheesy, but maybe some of YOURS!"

Kreta's eyes suddenly flared yellow as he flapped his fins and took flight. MMS grinned until he fired his White Beam of Kill, which was fired right into her chest as she staggered backwards. Kreta worked the beam up until it stopped short of the head, at which point he glided towards MMS. The latter fired obsidian bullets, Kreta who dodged them, then circling around her back and chomping down right on her neck. She roared in pain, trying to grab Kreta and drag him off her neck. She managed to grasp his leg with a tentacle, pulling him off sharply and swinging him around in the air. She tossed him straight up and then blasting him with her Pyroclastic Blast. Coated in stone, Kreta fell back to the Earth, being hit by another tentacle and blasted away once more. This time, he regained stability and floated back down to the ground, landing gracefully as MMS moved over to where he had landed.

"Bones feel broken this time, skinny one?"

"again, not just yet. but maybe this time i can break one of yours."

Suddenly, Kreta disappeared in a flash of light. MMS seemed confused until she turned. Kreta waved, now in his human form, and blasted her with his beam square in the jaw. She hissed as he kept firing, eventually blasting her in the mouth. She screamed in pain this time, turning away to recover quickly. Suddenly, Kreta teleported in front of her, punching her in the face a few times before Snap Kicking her below the mouth. She reeled back as he managed to get in a Hook Kick and then a Modern Cut Kick. They both took a moment to regain energy, as MMS went in for her own punch. Kreta narrowly blocked it as a tentacle grabbed his arm, and suddenly, it yanked. Hard.

Kreta reeled back as he put his hand on his arm, or where it used to be. MMS cackled as she swung his detached limb in her tentacle before eating it. She smiled as she rubbed her belly before uncontrollably laughing again. The stub began regrowing as Kreta grunted, staggering backwards and beginning to sniffle as MMS stopped laughing.

"How does it feel, Kreta? To have your limb torn off?"

"it hurts a lot... ugh... but i'll work through it, especially since it's already regenerating."

Kreta was crying at this point, and the arm had regenerated about a third of the way when he transformed back into his Bull Shark form.

"Aww, little sharky, what's wrong? Gonna cry from your little arm missing? Heeheehee..."

Suddenly, his Ampullae of Lorenzini began showing signs of an electric charge. He sniffled some more as the electricity began to intensify and his eyes glow brighter, yelling as it finally discharged. The electric discharge shot right into MMS' eye, who hissed as her vision in her left eye began going dark. MMS now being blind in that eye, Kreta presented no mercy, teleporting to her left side and blasting her with a stronger beam than before, causing more damage to her face. MMS grunted as Kreta suddenly kicked her in the face, then punching and kicking without stopping. Suddenly, he chomped down on one of her tentacles, ripping it off as she screeched out. She held a tentacle to where the stub was, and unlike Kreta, whose arm had finally regenerated, she could not grow it back. Kreta wiped off his tears as he snickered.

"aw, little monstrous hybrid, what's wrong? gonna cry from your tentacle missing? tch..."

"You son of a bitch!..."

MMS shoots out a tentacle towards Kreta, who flaps over it and zaps the other eye of MMS with his electric discharge. The eye begins to glitch as the sudden electric charge causes an overload of power. Suddenly, the remaining vision in MMS goes dark. She's blind, and Kreta goes in for the overkill. He tears out her throat and blasts his beam into the gaping wound. It seemed that it was over for MMS, when suddenly...

Kreta stops blasting his beam.

He stops moving at all.

Everything stops.

Slowly, MMS' eye comes back online, and she can see around her again. Nothing is moving. Time has frozen completely. Her remaining eye widens as she begins cackling. Now, she can reflect over Kreta's weaknesses and begin the battle over again. After thinking about it, she decides that she knows enough to be able to battle him successfully, and begins reversing time. She unfreezes time at the start of the fight, grinning down at Kreta. It seemed that she had just given her second reason to be handed the Universal Portal Gun.

"um, ok. i can't have you doing that, so i gotta fight you i guess? i dunno." He grew to match her size.

"It'll be a pleasure snapping your arms, neck, legs and cracking your skull open!"

"not really, but whatever. let's just get this over with." Kreta went in for his first punch, and MMS blocked his fist, this time wrapping her tentacle around his arm and ripping it off as she did before. He stumbled backwards as she slammed her tentacle over his head, causing his teeth to shatter. Firing a mix of obsidian bullets and Pyroclastic Blast, he was blasted with hot ash and stone, pelted with sharp obsidian and being covered in stone. Completely frozen, MMS grabbed his frozen statue and tossed it into the air, and as it smashed into the ground she whipped his huddled up body mercilessly. Eventually, she stopped, a grin spread so wide that the ends of the mouth met each other.

"Ready to hand over the gun?" MMS smugly asked.

Kreta sniffled, before whimpering out a meek, "y-yeah..."

The portal gun flashed in his hands as her grin expanded further. She took the gun in her hands and began laughing. Soon, she decided to make a spare for herself and give the first back to Kreta. Flashing time on and off, she vigorously shook the gun until a duplicate appeared. She reversed time to before she had appeared in the universe, slipping the original portal gun onto where Kreta had been sitting. She used the gun to open a portal into 374, slipping in and starting time right before the portal had closed. On the couch, Kreta gripped the gun tightly, shivering and sweating intensely, wondering about the monster he had just created.

Cast
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 * Mecha Mega Sharkosuchoctopusnado
 * KingOfKretaceous